I know that Iām only 15 and have three more years in highschool, but Iām scared. One of my biggest fears is living alone.Because of my sickness, I am constantly battling my brain for my life. I have thoughts of suicide, O.C.D., and intrusive thoughts.
My mom and I were talking one night before we went to bed about college. I said āI am scared to live alone.ā That is the most terrifying thing to me. When youāre alone, all you have to do is think and sit in silence. Iām scared that my mind will wonder too far and no one will be there for me to talk to and help me get through that. I wish I could have someone with me wherever I go who can understand me. My own friends donāt even know my everyday battles and I donāt even know if we are as close as we used to be.
I am hoping that by the time I graduate, that I can be completely healed or at least enough to let me live alone. I donāt want to do homeschooled college, as well! I know God is watching Ā the situation, but sometimes I feel like itās not getting better. I know I just have to trust him and his paths.
āThis too shall pass,ā is what my old Volleyball coach would tell my team when we felt like the running would never end and like our legs couldnāt go on. She was right about running, but will she be right about this?
-Egypt