Living alone šŸ˜±

I know that Iā€™m only 15 and have three more years in highschool, but Iā€™m scared. One of my biggest fears is living alone.Because of my sickness, I am constantly battling my brain for my life. I have thoughts of suicide, O.C.D., and intrusive thoughts.

My mom and I were talking one night before we went to bed about college. I said ā€œI am scared to live alone.ā€ That is the most terrifying thing to me. When youā€™re alone, all you have to do is think and sit in silence. Iā€™m scared that my mind will wonder too far and no one will be there for me to talk to and help me get through that. I wish I could have someone with me wherever I go who can understand me. My own friends donā€™t even know my everyday battles and I donā€™t even know if we are as close as we used to be.

I am hoping that by the time I graduate, that I can be completely healed or at least enough to let me live alone. I donā€™t want to do homeschooled college, as well! I know God is watching Ā the situation, but sometimes I feel like itā€™s not getting better. I know I just have to trust him and his paths.

ā€œThis too shall pass,ā€ is what my old Volleyball coach would tell my team when we felt like the running would never end and like our legs couldnā€™t go on. She was right about running, but will she be right about this?

-Egypt